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Hosts denied me - discrimination?

Discussion in 'Guests' started by Randy Grinell, May 1, 2015.

  1. Randy Grinell

    Randy Grinell New Member

    I recently requested a room in Manhattan Beach for 2 nights. I am openly gay in my profile. "I am a gay man, 38 years old, living in Philadelphia..." I was very cordial in my e-mail with my request for the room and the days were available on the calendar. The host denied my request with a simple "No." They have 12 or so reviews for their room. Are hosts allowed to deny guests for any reason they feel fit? Is it discrimination?
  2. Castle Woman

    Castle Woman Active Member

    Sorry to hear you have been denied @Randy Grinell . The good news is there are probably 500 other listings with 5 miles of that one! It could very well be that this host has personal reasons for not allowing you to stay and chose not to elaborate. It being a shared space - a room in a house - it is up to the hosts choice who they allow to stay in their home.
    Estuarto likes this.
  3. Estuarto

    Estuarto Active Member

    Had they have said "No, we don't allow gay people" then I think it becomes more of a grey area. It's not like applying for a job, you could liken it more to accepting a LinkedIn contact. In that regard you have raised a good question and I'd be interested to see how AirBnB would handle that. But as Castle Woman said it's quite possible they are not accepting your reservation for a myriad of reasons.
    Rosatti likes this.
  4. Rosatti

    Rosatti Member

    Hosts renting a room in their home are allowed to deny for any reason they see fit. As others have said, don't assume the reason, just move on to another possibile place. It could be a blessing in disguise.
  5. Rhonda

    Rhonda Member

    In this case they can discriminate, they just can't tell you they are doing it! I'm sure some would see my profile photo and deny me based on race. As others have said though, I hope they do, becaue I don't want to stay with them anyways.
    Abby J likes this.
  6. Abby J

    Abby J Member

    Another point of consideration would be your location, I'm no LA expert and I'm sure you can find agreeable accomodations in Manhattan Beach but you might also want to consider communities like West Hollywood.
  7. Castle Woman

    Castle Woman Active Member

    I don't think guests should consider themselves more welcome in some neighborhoods over others. I'm certain @Randy Grinell can find a great place whereever he wants in LA.
  8. Matt S

    Matt S Active Member

    It's a bit more like online dating then it is applying for a job.
    Rosatti and Abby J like this.
  9. Abby J

    Abby J Member

    I met my boyfriend of 8 years through match.com :p
  10. Rosatti

    Rosatti Member

    I dried OKCupid but think I was just writing e-mails into space. Never got a reply. Kind of an ego buster.
  11. Estuarto

    Estuarto Active Member

    Just waiting to get some posts of finding love through AirBnB! I know I have seen some on the AirBnB site....
  12. Sandy

    Sandy Active Member

    I know Randy is probably long gone, but I think his post is an important one. I believe that just like everywhere else in the world, you are likely to come into contact with all kinds of people with all kinds of prejudices. Remember, your airbnb hosts have NO training, and won't get the sack if they act in a way that shows they are being racist, sexist, homophobic, as they are running their own little businesses.

    I do believe however that good hosts are expected to give professional responses to guests, and in this your host failed miserably. Their response should be reported to Airbnb, if only for the reason that these hosts require some obvious training in how to turn down a booking request.

    Were they homophobic? No one can say for sure, but with the tone of the response, being so short and rude no one would blame you thinking they had some kind of issue that caused them to be unable to use even basic courtesy. How difficult is it to say it another way such as: 'hello.. , thank you for your inquiry, I'm sorry we hadn't updated our calendar, but we won't be able to take your booking for this date. Please keep us in mind for another trip, kindly ...'

    I've turned down guests because they looked but more importantly ACTED too young. Am I (reverse) ageist? No, I just know that if the guests aren't answering the questions I have asked because they seem too immature to grasp the concept that they need to prove that they are responsible enough to communicate effectively and listen, and they don't just get to stay here because they have money, then it will be impossible to get them to respect us and listen to us once in our home.

    I've turned down guests because they tried to bargain down my price. These guests made me feel as if they wouldn't appreciate my work, hospitality and home. They want somewhere cheap. They can find that by looking in the correct price range.

    I've turned down guests because they wanted to squeeze more than the allowed guests in the room. They wanted to treat my room like a hostel. I've turned down guests because they weren't polite. Because they didn't have a profile, and refused to tell me enough about themselves that made me comfortable. There are so many reasons I have turned down a guest.

    Homophobia, racism, sexism would never be reasons I would turn down guests. Some of my favorite guests have been gay couples. Because the ones I have hosted have been unerringly polite, and appreciative. Even age is no boundary, so long as some good communication and rapport is established.

    In my opinion, you are right to feel you were treated rudely, although we don't know why. I would call Airbnb, and let them know that you were expecting a better experience from using their booking system. The big problem is this, the world is made up of all kinds of people, with all kinds of prejudices, mental health and emotional problems. We even know there are psychopaths among us. Any of these people can be using airbnb at any time, and you would have no idea - until it's too late.
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2015
  13. Estuarto

    Estuarto Active Member

    Reverse ageist :) Basically denying anyone could be seen as stereotyping in some ways.

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